Blatantly Evil Question

What is the best way to cloak a site - send search engines different content than real users? Yes, I know it's bad practice, and I know the domain will eventually be banned. I've found lots of different methods including huge tables of all the possible client types sent by various spiders. I postulate that the simplest/fastest way to do it, and no less reliably, would be to simply consider any user whose client type includes "msie", "netscape", or "safari" to be a person, and let the rest go. Anyone have any practical experience with success that they'd like to share? I know there are plenty of negative stories and reasons NOT to do those but no need to take up the bandwidth with that; heard 'em already. :)