apache processes & memory use

ok, I'm confused, any help would be greatly appreciated. Using PHP4 with Apache (version?). My problem is that I'm getting emalloc errors. Not the massive ones like those related to the database bugs, it's anywhere from 1 byte to 43 bytes. In my debug attempt I've been watching apache processes (top), trying to track memory usage. It seems to vary size between 14M & 16M & vary RES from 12M to 14M. Is this varying normal? Is this size normal? (2400 line program reading a 1400 row/29 col. spreadsheet into an array...yes, it is necessary to have the whole thing in the array at one time, at least, I can't figure out a way not to.) I would think the same program ran repeatedly should require approx. the same memory each time. Also, I seem to have apache processes hanging around for days. So that even running a little 4 line echo/sleep/echo program will pick up one of these rogue process id's & then it appears that the 4 line program is running at 14M/12M now, that's just not possible. Is it normal for the process id's to hang around in sleep mode interminally lik! e that? If I restart apache, th e processes of course die, but I can't do that constantly. Is there a way to free up the memory that I'm just not aware of? Or something I should be looking at that I'm not? I'm at a loss, I'm more likely to blame my code (only my 2nd php program) than a php/apache bug or something of the like. But I haven't a clue where to look. (changing the way I handled the array slightly & using unset I did manage to save approx. 4M, but I'll need to save more than that as the spreadsheet grows). Eventually it may all go into a database, but not any time soon. Any suggestions or enlightenment would be greatly appreciated. wendy