FW: Today's joke INDO-PAK WAR
| From: | Shashwat Nagpal | Date: | Fri, 10 Aug 2001 04:32:30 +0000 |
| Subject: | FW: Today's joke INDO-PAK WAR | ||
| Groups: | php.general | ||
| Request: | Send a blank email to php-general+get-62107@lists.php.net to get a copy of this message | ||
Today's Joke: INDO-PAK WAR
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cold war between US and USSR resulted in a system where if USA
launched a Nuke-loaded missile, USSR's satellite were capable of
informing the USSR army in 3 seconds, and in less than 45 seconds USSR
would launch its counter-missile. US knew that and therefore never
attempted to launch one.
INDO-PAK War......
Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile towards India... They don't
need any permission from their government, and promptly launch the
missile.
Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, the Indian
army detects it and decides to launch a missile in retaliation. But they
need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request
to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.
The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session after three
days. When the LS meets, there are several walk-outs and severe protests
by the opposition, so it is adjourned indefintely. However, the
President asks for a quick decision.
The Pak missile, meanwhile, failed to take off due to unknown reasons.
Their attempts for a launch are still on.
Meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because an
outside party withdraws support. The President asks the PM to prove
majority next week. The ruling party is unable to get a confidence vote,
and a caretaker government is installed.
The acting PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch the Nuclear
Missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker Government
cannot take such a decision because elections are at the door and this
decision will affect the swing of votes in the election. A public
interest litigation (PIL) is filed in the supreme court of India,
alleging misuse of power by the Election commission. Supreme Court comes
to the rescue of the PM, and says acting PM is authorized to take this
decision.
In between all this, one of the Pak missiles successfully takes off, and
falls 367 miles away from the target. The Missile falls on a government
building at 11:00 AM. But since no employees have reached work, there
are no casualties.
The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China.
US condemns use of a nuclear missile by Pakistan, and offers to send its
seventh fleet to the Indian Ocean. The Indian government, wary of the
move, declines.
Finally, the Indian government decides to launch a nuclear missile,
after convening an all party meeting. It's been three months since the
army first sought permission. Pro-humanity, anti-nuclear activists come
on board against
the government's decision. Human chains are being made in New York, LA
and Washington for peace. Indians are sending protest email requesting
that it be "forwarded to as many Indians as possible".
On the Pakistan side, missiles keep failing. At times they fail to
take-off, at other times the payload gets detached from the missile
during flight. Some missiles deviate from target due to high-speed winds
blowing over Rajasthan,
and have to be neutralized by Pakistan, as these missiles are now moving
backwards towards Karachi.
Finally, a missile smuggled from USA is used. The Pakistan army is
unable to understand its software, so it hits its original destination:
Russia.
Russians successfully intercept the missile and in retaliation, launch a
Nuclear missile towards Islamabad.
The missile hit the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help.
It asks for loans from IMF and the world bank. India expresses deep
regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of
soap.
The War ends.