PHP Problem

I'm running WinNT4. I have Apache and IIS4, both of which will not work w/ PHP. When I try running test scripts, some work, some give me 500 errors and most just leave a blank page with very little source code. I've tried the installer AND the Windows binary. Please, help me. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Nick J. Ingrassellino/Web * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Lord, give us this day our daily frag Forgive us for putting the rail As we forgive those who have camped against us Lead us not into lava, but deliver us from bluescreens For yours is the level, the ammo, the powerups Forever and ever, or until the timelimit is hit Wereupon, I hope I have the highest score * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Please, include all previous text.