note 30831 added to keyword.parent
| From: | Dr dot Object at rack1 dot php dot net | Date: | Mon, 31 Mar 2003 21:57:31 +0000 |
| Subject: | note 30831 added to keyword.parent | ||
| Groups: | php.notes | ||
| Request: | Send a blank email to php-notes+get-46028@lists.php.net to get a copy of this message | ||
WARNING: Beware of decoupling disease!
May affect both programmers new to OO development and seasoned experts. The most common symptoms of
decoupling disease are bizarre contortions, twisting, and other unnatural movements integrated into
every day actions.
Sadly, these unnecessary movements dramatically reduce the quality of life of the afflicted by
increasing by orders of magnitude the amount of time and mental effort required to do simple daily
activities that can ordinarily be done without thought.
A key feature of the disease is the pervasive belief by it's victims that the unnecessary
movements and contortions are a necessary and desired part of the intended action. When asked why,
victims will respond with comments like "I don't want setting my foot down to be dependent
on lifting my foot up, because what will happen if I want to set my foot down without ever having
lifted it up?"
It is pointless to convince them they are actually afflicted with a disease, the best thing to do is
to videotape the victim torturously performing some simple task and show them the tape some weeks
later. Given the perspective of time, victims of the disease upon seeing themselves demonstrating
the symptoms will typically sit in stunned silence for several seconds and then make a comment along
the lines of "Jesus. What the hell was I thinking?" Such treatments may effect a remission
of the disease lasting several months.
Particularly tragic is a rare variant of the disease known as "recursive decoupling."
Recursive decoupling is thought to be triggered when victims of the ordinary variant of the disease
find themselves in a corner as a result of their contortions and detours. Faced with two blind walls
and no apparent way out, victims of decoupling disease will sometimes launch into a mad dervish-like
series of contortions which can result in dislocated limbs and other injuries. Observers note that
the phenomenon looks exactly as though the victim were trying to separate each component part of
their body as far from all the other parts as possible.
Unfortunately, it is a fundamental characteristics of bodies that the parts are connected.
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