Angry, up all night newbie (re: apache config)

I found the "install" text file included with the PHP for Windows download incomphrehensible and useless. I won't go on and on, but was wondering if someone can point me to some information that would explain, in a simple, deterministic and clear way, what steps are necessary to get Apache to load the proper PHP modules and recognize the contents of .php files. I'm working with the latest version of PHP, which doesn't particularly like the latest version of apache (2.0), so I downloaded and installed the 1.3x version of apache. All I can say is that if someone can help me with this, I'll owe 'ya one. TIA RC ps. please send email regarding this to robconklin@worldnet.att.net